BUMMER!

So, it has been suggested that I get a second opinion on my medication doses.

NOT because I feel that I need a larger dose; I feel quite well.   BUT because my husband and my counselor feel that it wouldn't hurt.

I guess this is what depression is all about.  Not really knowing what's going on.  Whatever. 

So, I will gather up the shattered pieces of what I thought was a healthy psyche and lay them at yet another "Psycho Doctor's feet".  I will do this because I have had to trust those who love me.  AHHHHHH!  That was always easy until that trust factor wormed it's way into the deepest places of my brain; Those vast spaces of "me". 

I battle with feelings of self-worth at these times.  I feel like a child who cannot care for herself but is exhausting herself with trying.  (Sigh)....Why bother? My husband is very adept at running the household.  He takes amazingly good care of the children.  He is a great leader, highly respected....

I, on the other hand,  am clinically depressed.  I have trouble focusing at times.  I have trouble remembering things at times.  My ability to multi-task is severely disabled.  I struggle with motivation.  It's so easy to just give-up and let the "better-person" handle it.  I like to sleep; I'm good at sleeping.  That's what I struggle with. 

So now I will go and finish my McDonald's coffee and attempt to clean our house that we have been so wonderfully blessed with.  I love our house.  Thank you church!